The Mythical Lost Episode Feat. Matt Weickert

This week on Pitch Me Something, dreaded audio demon Aug Vor’dyss visits us and steals the meat of Matt Weickert’s incredible pitch. But all is not lost! Using his valiant audio heroism, Sean has rescued possibly our most fun Choose Your Own Adventureland yet! Join us as we breath life into the DC Comics theme […]

I am the Night (From Don’t Call Them Batarangs)

— Chatlogs between Sean and Laura discussing a Batman tv show pitch —

S: I think Dick is like 17 in this series. Maybe started training at age 8 or whatever, but was never out on more than 1 or 2 missions before 15.

 L: On one hand we miss out on prime adorable baby Grayson. But yeah better parenting.

 S: Somewhere in there, Barbara asks if he’s been doing this his whole life. And Alfred “Miss Gordon, I assure you, not EVERYONE in this household is COMPLETELY insane.”

 L: YES. Alfred serves the prime roast as always.

 S: And then like… once in a while, Clark is there.

“Bruce! Hi! Yeah, I’d love to help. Never understood why you don’t call me more often.”

“Budget.”

“What? I don’t charge anything. You know that, right?”

“Budget.”

 L: Is that a fourth wall break or does Clark just break a lot of delicate detective equipment

 S: Flash back reel shows Superman throwing a Batmobile at someone, Smashing through a brick wall and accidentally crushing a fingerprint scanner when he gets startled by a text from Lois. “Okay, that’s… fair. But in my defence on that last one, I DID promise Lois I’d go to dinner at her Dad’s house before I came out to see you”

 L: Of course Clark sheepishly offers to pay for anything he breaks. And Bruce is like “I cannot let you do that, you’re a junior reporter paying for a single bedroom apartment in Metropolis. No.”

 S: “I mean, sure, Clark Kent is. But — and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for the whole League, Bruce…” Clark reaches into his cape and pulls out a little batman and superman doll. “These were Barry’s idea. Basically, the profits get stored in a joint League account that’s always available for disaster cleanup and charitable expenses as necessary.”

 “Oh, come on, Bruce!” Clark brandishes the squishy little batman doll “Yes, I admit it’s adorable, but it can’t possibly be worse than those knockoffs they’re selling on the streets!” he jostles the doll, and it says in a friendly, cartoonish voice “I am the night!”

 L: Oh. My. God.

 S: “Bruce, PLEASE!” Dick and Barbara are losing their shit

 L: I was going to say that is a given. They’re losing their freaking minds with joy. “Dick, that is the only thing I want for the next eleven birthdays.”