FI Official Krampusnacht Survival Kit

Shop our exclusive selection NOW!


(FI Krampusnacht Survival kits are unfortunately SOLD OUT for this year. Listen to the most recent episode of Pitch Me Something for information on further Holiday Survival Scenarios)


Are you or a loved one on the Naughty List? You just don’t know. But it pays to be prepared. Keep yourself safe from Krampus, the child-stealing scourge of the Yuletide Season with Frankly Implausible’s patented Krampusnacht Survival Kits!

Now even the worst behaved children can survive the holiday season without being dragged away or devoured at all!

Each Krampusnacht Survival Kit includes:

  • 1 Apple or Orange
  • 1 DVD copy of Seasons Beatings: The Frankly Implausible Guide to Festive Self-Defence techniques
  • 1 bear trap
  • 1 baseball bat
  • 1 Box Cutter for use in escaping burlap sacks

Application:

Conventional Krampus guides suggest placating the unwelcome visitor with a piece of fruit, then engaging in polite conversation until he continues on his way.

We at Frankly Implausible believe that strategy is for suckers.

Instead, out patented combination of in-home instruction and easy-to-use deterrents provides you with everything you need to lure the Yuletide Scourge into a false sense of security. Then, simply pummel him into submission while his guard is down and enjoy a joyous, Krampus-free holiday!

Shop our exclusive selection NOW!


(FI Krampusnacht Survival kits are unfortunately SOLD OUT for this year. Listen to the most recent episode of Pitch Me Something for information on further Holiday Survival Scenarios)